so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
