Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
