im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
