why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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