Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
