OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
