You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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