come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
