normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
