Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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