My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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