Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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