I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
