The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In America we eat man semen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
