i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have fence marks all over my body
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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