In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
