Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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