So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
