Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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