i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
