I don't think brook has ever known best
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
