Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
