I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
