if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
