I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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