Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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