if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
