Umm I'm too high to move.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
