addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
