He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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