Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
