She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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