if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
