Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
