At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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