What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
