Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
