The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
