Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
