I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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