hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
