There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i've created a new STD.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
