It's just like the Real World with babies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
