But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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