So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
