But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
