Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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