all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Randomize
