Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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