Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
