hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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