oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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