She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I know her cup size but not her name....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
