Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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