Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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