Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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