she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
