we made out on top of his cat.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
