Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
