saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
