shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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