out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
