just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
