Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize