Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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