Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
