have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
