Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
