maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
