he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
