at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
